


Flash Back, Flash Foward

by xvivon



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alfred is dead, Angst, Batfamily (Mentioned) - Freeform, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Ric Grayson, Gen, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Hurt No Comfort, no beta we die like jason todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xvivon/pseuds/xvivon
Summary: For one to move forward, they must first reflect
Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne & Dick Grayson (mentioned), Talia al Ghul & Damian Wayne
Comments: 10
Kudos: 81





	Flash Back, Flash Foward

**Author's Note:**

> A late Damian Wayne birthday fic I turned into angst.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Also comments are my coffee, and I’m a caffeine addict :)

For one to move forward, they must first reflect. That must be why Damian is sat in front of a fractured mirror. It’s poetic in a sense, he was trying to look at his flaws, and fix them. Only for the glass to shatter in his hands.

His spots his piercing green eyes in what little of the mirror is still intact. _They look like his mother’s._

Today marks 14 years since his birth. He’s not sure if anyone in the Manor noticed, or cared. Pennyworth might have. _If he were still here._ His father certainly didn’t. The man didn’t even show up, not a word. Not that it’s very out of character for him, a “Happy Birthday son,” still would have been nice.

Maybe his mother will call? She always does something to keep contact with him. Weather it’s strange items appearing in his school locker, or a letter only he notices, she always does something.

She’s always done something. Even in one of the worst situations you could be in.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

_The desert is always hot, but he doesn’t mind. He’s almost gotten completely used to it. Today is his fifth birthday, which means things will go a bit easier for him._

_It’s maybe 10:00 am? He’s not quite sure, he hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet. On his birthday he can sleep in for at least a little while. Mama makes sure of it. The sun is peaking through his curtains, hitting his face. Maybe he should get up now?_

_He does, after he changes into the standard league robe, he makes his way to Talia’s compound._

_The door is open a crack, and he takes that opportunity to run at her. He practically tackle-hugs her into the bed._

_“Mama, mama guess what?” He asks, beaming._

_She smiles despite herself, “What?”_

_“I’m five now!” He states as he hoists himself onto the bed. “What are we doing today?”_

_“Well, our plans are obviously limited compared to when we stayed in London. So, I thought maybe we could do some light training, have breakfast, make you a cake,”_

_Damian was practically bouncing up and now in enthusiasm._

_“Create some artwork, and then watch a movie with your cousin.” She was pretty proud of herself, with the way Ra’s is, she figured half of the things on that list would be ruled out._

_Anything to make her son happy..._

_“Well-“ She started._

_“C’mon lets go!” Damian all but shouts as he drags her out of the room._

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

He smiles fondly at the memory, as does his reflection. That was one of the better birthdays. _If only they had all went that way..._

_It’s around noon, August 9th, on his seventh birthday. And he’s cold. Currently training in Russia, the frigid wind chills him down to the bone. He wasn’t given the proper equipment for this expedition, that being one of the reasons why he’s cold._

_Talia is off on a mission in a place called Metropolis. He wasn’t allowed to go. Instead, Ra’s shipped him off temporarily to an icy tundra._

_Not that Grandfather would ever tell mother that, she would be enraged. And Damian is too scared of what would happen to say anything about it._

_So, he just grits his teeth and continues on. Grandfather was adamant about him crossing this tundra and then climbing some mountain-_

_Oh. He sees which mountain now..._

_It’s huge, at least it is to a newly seven year old. ‘He wants me to climb THAT?’_

_He begins to scale the mountain, freezing all the while. He wonders if his grandfather will be proud of him, after this whole thing. Probably not, but it’s a nice thought._

_He’s already a fourth of the way up the mountain when he loses his grip..._

_Time slowed down, as he was falling he felt so light. Maybe because for once he was crushing down on the world instead of the opposite._

_Hitting the ground was supposedly excruciating. Though, he wouldn’t know, he was numb. Not only from the cold, but from his bodies reaction of paralyzing fear. He had already accepted it, he wasn’t scared. Maybe that should scare him._

_He woke up back in Nanda Parbat, his mother and Ravi standing over him._

_“Damian! Are you alright my son?” His mother frantically questioned._

_It took him a moment to answer, “I- I’m fine mama.”_

_So much for having a nice seventh birthday._

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

From then on his birthday celebrations weren’t very successful...

His eighth birthday was spent training on Nanda Parbat, along with his ninth. His tenth was supposed to be the same way if it weren’t for...well.

He doesn’t really want to think of that again.

His change from Nanda Parbat to Gotham was a time, and not a good one. It’s was pretty rough.

When his birthdays were spent in Gotham with Grayson they were nice. _With Grayson._ If they were spent with his father, they were mediocre at best. Like spending them at Nanda Parbat. Now they’re lonely reminders that he’s a year closer to death, another year of his father being cold and distant, another year away from his mother, another year without Grayson and Pennyworth.

_Another year without his family..._

Their deaths and absences weren’t something he wanted to think about, but his mind won’t keep away from those thoughts.

Pennyworth would have definitely remembered his birthday, if he were alive to. It’s difficult to remember his death. Damian was the reason he died after all, he just couldn’t keep away, he needed to play hero.

Grayson would have remembered too, though without any memory of Damian that isn’t really possible anymore is it. “Ric” wants nothing to do with him, and he can’t blame him. If all his memories disappeared and all he had were strangers wanting him to be someone else, he wouldn’t be very happy either.

The rest of them he hasn’t heard from since, Tood, Drake, Brown, Cain, Thomas, they haven’t contacted him. Maybe they’ve finally realized this all is his fault, he’s the reason no one is around anymore, that he’s the reason why the glue that kept them together doesn’t stick.

He has no one to blame but himself, this is his punishment.

So he’ll sit here, in front of his mirror of shattered glass, with memories of another time and place. He’ll sit in his empty room and let the sun, and eventually the moonlight reflect on the shards, as he reflects on his past.

_Awaiting another year of pain._

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I’ve been gone awhile, sorry about that hshshdh. But I’ve been working on something, it’s been really fun. That’ll come out later this year.
> 
> And yeah I know Damian was 13 when this happened, and it’s not his fault. But I like to mess around with ages and create more angst so ¯\ ( ‘’/ )/¯ 
> 
> Okay yeah! I might make something in between then but look out for that. Hope you have a great morning/afternoon/night bbbbyyyyyyeeeeeeeee!!
> 
> Go bother me on tumblr - [xvivon](https://xvivon.tumblr.com/)


End file.
